How to rekindle the flame that the pandemic extinguished
This is a question that many couples are asking this Valentine’s Day as we approach the one-year anniversary of being home with our significant other 24/7. A raging epidemic, mixed with pressure to celebrate a day reserved for matters of the heart, can ease our hunger for romance in a small pile of “No Thanks”.
Newlyweds are forced to make solidarity and intense decisions with an epistemic pressure cooker at a time when they are usually allowed to enjoy newness with just a simultaneous pleasure.
Celebrating love is important
Still, I know how important it is during these challenging times, making room to celebrate respect and love. And it is important to find a way to honor the person who has helped keep it together for our entire family over the past year.
How can you use Valentine’s Day because it is the one and only one, even if you are sick and tired together?
It doesn’t matter if you can’t remember the last time you shaved your legs or got sweated. There are epidemic-safe ways to bring back the spark that has been extinguished with great efficiency in a year.
Don’t worry about planning a top Valentine’s Day from home. It is a heavy time when it is difficult to remember what day it is or when you last changed your underwear. It is worth considering a more practical approach.
If you are one of the many couples mourning the loss of intimacy, Valentine’s Day may be the perfect excuse to invest in improving romantic extravagance.
“We really have to get ourselves there in the same way, if we want to eat, we have to cook. So many people have asked me how to keep up with this new normal relationship. It starts with you and Opens up. Until the possibility of a connection to oneself, “she said.
“It’s amazing how much we open up to others when we first open ourselves up,” she said.
Once you are more open to giving and receiving intimacy and love with your partner, you have to “build a metro, even when there is no principle,” said the New York Metro-based Dating and Relationships Experts Rachel Delato.
“Assign one day a week for two weeks where one partner takes on all the roles in the house and the other gets them to do anything, whether it’s read a book in another room, spend the day walking or Achieve goals at a distance together with friends, ”she said.
What can couples do?
Now that you are open and have made space, but in this time of creatively limited comings and goings, you are ready to take steps to build that deep connection with your partner. what does that involve?
New York-based family and relationship therapist Damon A. “Kovid lockdown has provided a greater amount of time for couples than most other years, but this does not automatically create better quality,” Jacobs said. But “it is difficult to maintain a fire,” he said, “when there is so little wind.”
There are many things you can do, Jacobs said.
It begins with acknowledging that sex and passion are not a given, especially having been together for a long time. Practice mindfulness to close the running tabs of DOS running in your mind and try to focus on each other, perhaps by planning a sexy date.
Radical forgiveness is another suggested approach to clear the way to judgmentalism and negativity, appreciating your significant other for all the good that brings into the relationship.
Jacob also encourages novel ways to play with his partner.
“Generally in our society we object to the other person’s body being professionally and morally wrong,” he said. “But when it comes to re-creating desire in a long-term relationship, objectification is your friend. Understanding your partner as an object of lust can help with connection.” And if life is busy and sex is not on the agenda, try to schedule time, suggested Jacob.
In all, Valentine’s Day 2021 is unlike any other. Don’t feel pressured to pick up a box of dozen roses and Russell Stover chocolates and pretend to be happy when the earth is churning under your feet.
To get real, use the day to grind with your partner daily and make excuses for what you appreciate about each other. Take steps to improve your bond, whether it is doing a function of service that reduces their to-do list or doing some real thoughtful work.
There’s no need to be ashamed to spend the day looking for the help you might need to strengthen your bond, and it doesn’t hurt to throw in an extra dose of kindness, and maybe even That kink.